System Failure in progress
Hey Blog,
I am officially telling the Universe’s Fuck Up Fairy to leave me alone now. I have had just about enough. 9 days to find a house and pack the one I have, a car having an electrical temper tantrum, no DSTV (even though I have paid for a month’s subscription) thanks to my landlord and his issues and a bunch of people trying to scare-tactic me into paying them money.
Oh, and all the loneliness my plate can handle.
On Monday night when my internal systems failed so severely and one of my oldest friends (my first boyfriend) took my face in his hands and squeezed my neck affectionately and told me that I had all the support in the world and it would all get better and I should try to breathe, it hit me squarely just how lonely I am.
I know I am not alone. I have awesome friends. Friends who I can call at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to rescue me, friends who I can drag out of the house on their only day off in the week to rescue me again, friends who bring copious amounts of Bar One ice cream, friends who cook me supper, friends who take care of my kids while I take care of the issues, friends who bring me to work now that I am transport-less, and amazing friends who offer whatever help I need with the stuff that isn’t being taken care of already. Friends who are helping me pack, friends who are helping me move, and friends who tell me via the WWW that I am wonderful and an awesome human being.
But there is this huge gaping hole in my life that should be filled by a man, so that when my car dies, and my systems fail and I get stuck on the roof because I am checking whether or not I have a satellite dish, there is someone there to do this kind of stuff or just give me a hug and help me and understand what this feels like.
Yesterday a very dear someone told me that if the world was occupied by more women like me, it would be paradise. He said that he only wished that NH knew what he had given up because if I was his girl he would never let me go. He said that I have a pretty smile.
OK so WOW!!!!!!!!!!! But the real problem is that other people don’t see this. OK so I am not physically perfect, but in the words of Harry Belafonte:
“A pretty woman makes her husband look small,
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts,
To do the things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life.
An ugly woman cooks meals all the time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.”
Now I am not so bad to look at… I am carrying an extra few kilo’s maybe… But I am still gorgeous in my opinion.
So where is my man? Why am I getting stuck on the roof? Why am I upside-down under the steering wheel of my car trying to put an air vent cover back on? Why are CC and I drilling 29mm holes in the front door to install a yale lock?
Please Universe, send your Fuck Up Fairy somewhere else, and send the Love and Happiness Fairy to me instead!
