DC’s Attitude from Hell
A while ago I promised that DC’s school issues would get a blog post of their own. Well here goes. I have been at home now for 3 days, taking some time out to recover from this awful flu that seems to have hit so hard this year. And in these last 3 days, I have seen a side my oldest daughter that I am embarrassed, and ashamed of.
She has always been such a pleasant well-mannered, if somewhat stubborn and belligerent child. But what she has become since she started school at the beginning of this year is mind-blowing. I am raising a full blown spawn of Satan in my home. She is rude and obnoxious and cheeky and unbelievably disrespectful. Not just to me… but to our Nanny and my Mom and my StepDad, and her Godmother and everyone. Except her father, and his family. She treats them like gods and never disobeys a thing they say.
About 2 months ago she got bust for some pretty hectic stuff at school, and there had been reports that her behaviour in class left much to be desired. She was disruptive and being a bully and being overly emotional about everything. Understandably. Her life had just undergone a huge change with NH and PA moving out, and then her godmother (MS) moving in… She was a little confused by it all and acting out.
Anyway, her father and his family went into complete denial about everything. This wasn’t their child I was talking about and all this had to be my fault. And then there was the disciplinary hearing and then suddenly hit me and her Dad just how bad this whole situation was and just how much this little girl was hurting. So we all made the necessary adjustments and tried our best to give her what she needed. Well turns out that what she needed wasn’t what any of us were giving her and the situation hasn’t gotten any better.
It is infuriating beyond belief, and hurts me so much inside. It guts me that her father can phone me and tell me I am a bad mother, and that he can demand that she lives with him because she does not behave like this when she is with him.
At this moment in time I am a bag of mixed feelings. She is my child and I love her so much. But I am also sooo angry that she can speak to me like I am a dog or a mate in the playground, and I can throw things, and shout, and lose my mind and nothing changes. I have even tried talking nicely, but that doesn’t help either. Then she sulks in her room for 2 minutes (cos she has the attention span of a flea), and then she says “I am sorry Mom.” Then she repeats the offensive behaviour and I lose it some more and then we start all over again. Then in true 21st century brat style she asks me if she can have time on the PC, or on the Nintendo Wii, and then sulks some more when I say no. God, I am so frustrated. There is no such thing in my house as “yes Mom” or “Thanks Mom” even though I insist on it. She just completely ignores me, and carries on with “OK” and “whatever”.
I have now made her make a promise that she will treat us all better or she can pack her bags and go to her father. And I mean it. I will make the call for her. Hell, I’ll even pack her bags. Its not that I don’t love her, please understand. I just do not have the strength anymore to deal with the constant demands and high standards she has come to expect.
Is this wrong? Am I a terrible mother? Or is this how its supposed to be? Surely, though, only when they hit 17… Surely not when they’re 7???
Thank God only one of them is a problem. Not sure if I could do this twice.
C
xxx
Its good to see that things are getting together for you. DC will come right, you’ll see… At least when HF gets there, you’ll have already had practice….
I hope you’re well CM…
Glad to see you’ve started your own thing too!