Hot and Spicy’s

“I’ve got it! I got it in the shower!! I know what it is!!”

“What?????”

“I know why you like him!!!”

“Why????”

“Because you wanna fix him!!!”

“oh… OMG! Probably!”

“You’re so much like me. I also want to fix them. You wanna fix AB because he’s a challenge and you like to fix them. W&F is not broken, but AB is and YOU.WANT.TO.FIX.HIM!!!”

“OK. Fuck off!”

See, what happened was, I asked the universe to help me. To find happiness, and love, and peace, and contentment. And guess what. The universe taught me a very very very good lesson. She taught me that to get to where I wanted to be, I had to understand a few things first.

1. The Universe always listens. Be careful what you ask for.
2. The Universe always answers. Even when you think she didn’t, she did. Look again.
3. Once you understand that, you figure out how to ask the questions.
4. Then you have to learn to let it go and live in the moment.
5. Then you begin to truly be.
6. Then she throws just a little more shit at you, just to be sure you understood her good and proper.
7. And then suddenly you are happy and at peace and purring like a Mommy-cat with contentment!
8. And then she answers your request for love.
9. And then the shit hits the not-so proverbial fan.
10. THE BEGINNING!

And you know what? That’s how it goes. I am learning Points 8 through 10 in the lesson.

Except this time she made the learning tough. Yes, because clearly THIS, THIS and THIS or even THIS weren’t hard enough, she has now brought me 2 wonderful men!! Both worthy of an awesome amount of admiration. One an educated, incredibly BRILLIANT human being. Not just in intelligence, but also in being able to put me at ease! He brings with him an awesome sense of stability and peace and makes me feel so relaxed, like the world is going to be ok as long as I can hide behind him. He feels like the perfect fit. We shall call him W&F.

And then there’s AB. Now, this one is from the old school way. More traditional, more Afrikaaner (although they are both from Afrikaans speaking families)… But he makes me laugh that the tears pour down my face and my stomach muscles hurt the next day. He has eyes that look like through you and while he is a SUPER-DUPER nice guy, there’s a bad boy in there that makes me want to crack. Not a bad boy in the way I am used to them being packaged, but he has been in his fair share of trouble. Now I know he has appeared here before and then I decided that maybe he wasn’t right for me. But he stuck around and so he has become a very real option again.

So these two appear in my life and what the hell am I supposed to do?? She answered me but in making the answer difficult, she is teaching me more. This time she is forcing me to take a long-term view of my life. I have to decide which path to walk… and I hate decisions like this. Fuck it. *sigh*

I know which one makes my insides wobble and I know which one makes me warm and fuzzy… and I need to decide if I want to have wobbly insides or be warm and fuzzy for the next chapter of my life.

“Can we try to make it a long chapter, please Universe?”

I am going to sign off now, and dream of my future being warm and fuzzy and see if I could make it long-term!

CM
xxx

I knows its been a while.. Again.. I am so sorry. Life got hectic again as its prone to do and I just needed to deal with it.

Ok where were we…

Oh yes.. I was meeting real men.. One in particular who turned out to be not-quite-right for me. Sad but true… I have made a really cool friend though and thats what counts I guess!

Since my last post and meeting Mr Real Life (who I will call AB - Authentic Boer), I have finally gotten my ass into gear and got back on my meds. This was following a complete and utter breakdown in court with BFG. I left the court and drove straight to the psychiatrist who didn’t hesitate to put me back on industrial strength drugs (TG for Valium!!!! )

Things are slowly coming right and life has subsequently dealt me a whole new hand to play with… This hand includes PA who made an awesome comeback into our lives ( to refresh the memory, PA is NH’s daughter who lived with me for 6 years), a whole bucket load of work, a second job which also has some amazing opportunities.. A move (again) on the 1st October to a house in the dorpie rather than on the outskirts where I am now, and more new people in my life.

The Dr. is still on the periphery of potential romantic interests which is amazing (amazing because I am still interested after 3 months), and then of course there is the cutest, hottest (yes cute and hot at the same time), makes my heart race and my legs shake, most gorgeous man I have ever met in my life. I am praying beyond hope that he likes me!

So HF is sick, I am sick and DC is just plodding along.

And thats life in the sleepy, rainy dorpie for now!

Chat soon,

CM
xxx

Hello Blog, from a quiet, peaceful dorpie!

The work is rolling, the sun is shining and life is GRAND! There’s a fresh loaf of home-made bread baking in the oven (I am on a store-bought bread strike), and the smell is just divine!

Good things have been happening in my life since I moved out here and I am the happiest I have been in a long time.. There have been many adventures and new people and new friends and new clients, and way too much drinking! It would seem that the folks around these parts have nothing better to do with themselves but consume VAST amounts of alcohol. A lot. All the time. But fear not because there’s a Lost and Found bin in the centre of town where one can go and collect one’s name when the hangover goes away!

And then of course there’s been the internet dating thing thats been going on… So there were 5 guys… One ran screaming, one turned out to be a really nice guy who I haven’t really spoken to again since the first meeting with the 3 kids in tow. Oi! One who was declaring his undying love via IM before we’d even met (SCARY), and then getting narfy with me when I laughed at him (RUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!). Then there’s the Doctor who I really like. We compare Boer Soek ‘n Vrou notes every Monday morning and he is very sweet. And the 5th one I blew off before it even had a chance..

And just as well I did all that because the unthinkable has happened. I met a real-life, in-the-flesh, non-internet man and I cannot believe how amazing this form of dating is. Why hasn’t anyone told me about this before? You should all give it a go!

So there I was, trying to find a man to practice the eye-lash batting, cleavage showing helpless girl theory on, and there he was. So I put the moves into action and he is becoming a bit of a permanent fixture in my life. He loves the kids and they love him. He is not afraid to tell me to sit down and take a load off while he makes me tea and is genuinely a really nice guy! A “regte”, “egte”, thoroughbred, local boer seun!! Which is exactly what I asked for (OK come on people, I entered Boer Soek ‘n Vrou.. The universe was listening!).

Now if only the universe had listened to the bit where I said “hairless chest”, we’d be styling! Oh well, can’t win them all I guess. OK, jokes aside this man is amazing. Respectful, and patient and strong and solid and reliable and dependable. He remembers things he has said he would do, even if there was alcohol involved at the time of saying, and he actually follows through… It’s like a breathe of fresh air having him around and I, for one, hope he sticks around for a bit.

Real-life - 1, internet - 0!!!! Yeeehhhaaaaa!!!!

Thank you, thank you very much!

*sigh*

C
xxx